दशैं आयो, माँगेर खायो...

Dasain, the biggest festival for almost all Nepalese people around the globe. Hence also known as BADA Dasain. The weather's perfect, the mood is just right, and everyone is rich, if not with money but at least in their hearts.

BUT. There is always a BUT. But the festival has always been a pain in the, you know where, for me. Why? Because I am surrounded by BEGGARS till the festival is over. Yes beggars who come well dressed, talk nice and seem almost ready to lick your balls.

Ok stop imagining because your mind is wandering somewhere else. These aren't the Sunny Leone types. These are the ugly bastards who've defamed this beautiful festival by making a begging bowl out of it. From event organizers, to government officials, to police, to local clubs, to newspaper delivery man and mostly the media.

"Dasain ko lagi kei chaina...?" is the most common sentence I and am sure many like me have to hear during this period. It's not about whether one can spend a bit and keep their bloody mouth shut. It's about how we as a society have developed into parasites who think it's their fundamental right to feed on someone else. And one thing I appreciate about them is that they've very finely developed the skill of making you feel guilty if you don't help them or scare the shit out of you in case you don't comply.

Sometimes I blame the international fraternity who've inculcated this habit among us at a macro level.

I'm sure there are many who'll agree to me when I say people take you for granted when it comes to getting things done for free. But that still is tolerable as long as you feel it's right.

But when it comes to forcing someone, I get pissed off. I even get pissed off when I see a Fire Engine Truck with the label "Donated by the Indian Government". Why? Can't we even afford to buy a fire engine? Can't we even build our own local roads? Can't we have simple solar lamps for our streets with our own money?

Have we really stopped feeling proud on our achievements? Has the country that prides in never having been colonized, now prides in getting as much for FREE as possible? Has it become a Nepalese culture to get everything for FREE?

I'm just honestly perplexed and wonder. And honestly I don't have an answer for that.

This small write up just ends here with this question for all to answer.

P.S. I've used an image that was provided for free without any copyright and the source is mentioned below, just in case someone thinks I'm a hypocrite.

Image Source: http://nepalicalendar.rat32.com/happy-dashain-2071-cards-wallpapers/

What's on Your Mind ???

What's on your mind? It's exactly what Facebook asks me everyday. And then I think, "Yes, What T F is on my mind today?" And then my fingers start twitching to type in that blank space. But something holds me back. Then again the question strikes back but now it asks me, "What REALLY is on my mind?". And that is when I filter out many thoughts that I think shouldn't be there.

So when I think of filling up that space, many a times I've been naive and very very ignorant and inconsiderate spewing out absolutely worthless crap. And the latest feature of facebook reminding you with what you did in the past has helped me understand that. Sometimes it's embarrassing.

So the question is what should be your Facebook status or any status on any social network?

Well I've tried to learn and improve with what I update on Facebook. I don't deny the fact that some impulsive posts still are naive and worthless. But now I've categorized what should be as follows:

1. It should be FUN.

And I'm not talking about fun for yourself only but fun for others as well. You can't just say I don't give a fuck about who thinks what of this. You're actually responsible, to a large extent, for his/her reaction because you're related socially through this virtual platform and you're both there for each other. If you think otherwise then just unfriend that person or move out of the social network space. And also you don't have the right to feel offended if that person unfriends you. So make it fun for yourself and other people as well. Personal stuffs are also fun sometimes. And sometimes even non-personal stuffs which you think is fun are absolutely annoying. Well your likes and comments should give you a clear idea of categorizing your content.

2. When not FUN, it should be INFORMATIVE

Let it be something that'll intrigue the readers. Give them something to think about. Give them something new that they've never known or thought of. Social media can be a wonderful platform to share knowledge. Being a lecturer, I read a lot of articles, journals, watch videos and share them, that most often leads to a discussion with my students who further read, watch and share them. I use this social platform to clarify a lot of myths many a times. So many people on social media are again foolish enough to read, believe and further share fake and unnecessary material. I try my best to aware these people about the authenticity of things shared over Facebook.

3. It's a great place to SELL

Yes, SELL. The world is going digital and why not marketing and selling your product digitally? I've realized it to be the best platform to market and sell your stuff. The mainstream media has become very expensive and its credibility and effectivity is highly questionable these days. And for young entrepreneurs and low-cost startups, there's no better place than the web to promote. So when Facebook asks you "What's on your mind" just answer back with "I've got my product on my mind". For a hundredth of the cost of mainstream media you can reach the actual customers you want. Sometimes it just happens for free. Depends on how creative you are.

4. Protest, Revolt, Change.

Social Media is the People's Media. And I've always believed in that. In a country like Nepal where most media are dishonest, biased and corrupt, social media can be used effectively to fight against the anarchic discrimination of mainstream media. Virality is the key. It's a place where you can complain to the Government, criticize yellow journalism, whitsle blow against the culprits, debate and make people aware in mass about it. Personally some of my own efforts have borne results and since then my trust in it has grown. Sometimes the pressure can build up to such an extent that the concerned authorities are compelled to act.

5. The SAND BAG

Last but not the least, it's a "Sand Bag". It's a great psychological let out sometimes. But please, limit it to only sometimes. Because again too much of your psychological let out is again no fun for other people, which takes us back to point number 1. The best thing is always having some real person to talk to but I can understand that there can be situations when you can't, and yes then comes this blank space where you write your heart out.

Now this may not be the exhaustive list of how to properly fill up that blank space but I'm sure it will help people who're still confused.

And yes the link to this blog is also going in that blank space as well.

99 Shop Syndrome

It started with the phrase "Harek maal aath aana" meaning every product for 50 paisa, that my dad used to tell us about. He used to put up a shop at Lal Bazaar during the '60's and there would be an array of products ranging from combs, to toys to mirrors, all available for 50 paise.

Then my dad again used to talk about the dollar shops in the US of A with the same concept. And long after coming back from the land of dreams, and when I had grown up enough to pursue my career in marketing, came the 99 shops in Nepal.

For us it was nothing new. But for the Kathmanduites it was exciting. There were 99 shops everywhere. Even the regular retailers with a good reputation converted their shops to 99 shops. Then one fine morning I woke and all those 99 shops had vanished. Or some had changed to 199 and 299 and 399 shops. Meaning it really weren't the 99 shops that it was supposed to be, purely defeating the purpose. Many lost a lot of money too. And what killed it was it's growth itself. It grew so rapidly, making it a fad, that actually none of them could continue sustainably.

Well still the people of Kathmandu haven't understood. And I thought this "99 Shop Syndrome" a term coined by myself, is here to stay.

So where can we see this syndrome right now? Well it's there everywhere except for the fact that it's a bit more visible in, ofcourse lucrative businesses. But it's not about the businesses that has concerned me anymore. It's the business of the businesses. Yes I'm talking about STARTUPS and the investment in these startups by the venture capitalists or investors.

Yes as an underdeveloped nation this was much needed. But with a few personal experiences, I've come to the conclusion that many of these 'business of businesses' aren't here for the REAL BUSINESS, i.e., encouraging startups and letting them grow and make them sustainable in the future. Many have come with a different motive of making a quick buck within a few months, many have come with a motive of exploiting someone's lucrative idea, and many have come with a purpose of taking a shortcut to success using someone elses idea as the ladder, or rather an elevator.
Again someone will come and argue that if someone is benefiting then WHY NOT? Yes that is there but the Nepalese scenario has never been so open minded regarding some outsiders being involved and hence big profit making partnerships have collapsed. Also in some cases the lack of integrity among the stakeholders have caused many great ventures to perish.

But again why am I talking about all this? Well you can also ask yourself this question. Do you want want the zeal of the young entrepreneurial generation to be crushed below the heavy stones of mistrust, exploitation and unethical practices? Of course not.
And that's one main reason that compels me to think and act about the sporadic germination of unhealthy investment scenario.

Kathmandu - Part 1 - The Negatives

Something I wrote during the Unofficial Blockade (Nakabandi) time and had become quite popular, positively and negatively. Do have a read and decide for yourself.
- A city where people are patient staying in line for 48 hrs for 3 ltrs of petrol but are impatient enough to overtake from the wrong side of the road risking their lives.
- A city where people are always in a hurry, enough to risk their lives in traffic, but again never reach anywhere in time.
- A city where the domestic airport is 100 times better than the international airport. (At least now)
- A city where a cc of ad space in a newspaper costs 3500 and a sq ft of land costs about 2500. (Both are irrationally costly)
- A city where Land Rovers roll but the roads are so bad that even a Land Rover's ground clearance is not enough.
- A city where the speed breakers are taller than the footpath (if there is one).
- A city where people buy the best baby food for their babies but don't mind riding them on the front of a bike without helmet.
- A city where people pay Rs. 500/- per liter of petrol in black but fight for a rupee with the local vegetable vendor.
- A city where when waterlogged you can literally raft on the roads (with shit floating by the side)
- A city with more museums than public toilets.
- A city where cow slaughter is banned but no one cares about the stray cows on the roads.
- A city where people shout about "Ek Desh Ek Pradesh" but never think about going out of Kathmandu or even realize that the country extends beyond the borders of Kathmandu.
- A city where people look for mineral water after having road side pani puri. (This one's the funniest for me)
- A city where media houses survive by blackmailing the corporate sector
- A city (rather country) where the President and Finance Minister is 7th-8th standard pass (I doubt that too)
- A city where wearing a helmet with a stylish mountain bike is a must but not necessary if it's an old classic style (budo) cycle. Head injuries happen only when riding a mountain bike.
- A city (rather country) where a corrupt politician after serving his term is grandly welcomed with garlands and is also given a huge compensation by the government.
- A city that produces thousands of doctors and nurses every year but still people die of simple diseases like diarrhea just a few kms away from Kathmandu.
- A city that lies in one of the most earthquake prone areas but still has multi-storeyed buildings everywhere.
- A city where there is traffic jam even when vehicles are moving and even when the vehicles are 'not' moving.
- A city (country) where people think INDIA is bad but everything "Made in India" is good and CHINA is good but everything "Made in China" is bad.
- A city (country) where the development of the nation is exponentially inversely proportional to the number of international development agencies present.
- A city where men mind doing their own dishes but don't mind doing other's dishes when they reach the US.

The Cookie Jar

Going through the kitchen cabinet, I once found a Horlicks (glass) bottle which is about 20 years old. It's still there in my house and practically being used by my mom to stores stuffs like biscuits, dalmot, legumes and what not. It's an antique piece but not practically has an antique value because it's still being used.

My father's an environmentalist. Probably the first environmental engineer in Nepal. He always tells a story about two dictionaries, one which he owned during his school days which didn't have the word #ENVIRONMENT in it and another one which is a more recent one which has the sacred word listed. All he's trying to say is that when he chose Environment as his subject of interest during his masters in the US of A, people here in Nepal didn't know people were studying it as a subject. And yes the way he tells it is much more interesting.

So what's the relation between my mom, the Horlicks bottle and the Environmentalist, my dad?

Well my Dad read all the fat books, came back to Nepal and made quite a few reforms in the environmental section which not only me but the whole of Nepal should be thankful for. Like the green sticker on cars, the Environmental Protection Act and the Environmental Protection Rules, which were the first set of policies developed in the field of Environment in Nepal. And then the latest being the Okharpauwa landfill site project. Yes I want the world to know that my DAD did all these great things.

Now coming back to my mom and the Horlicks bottle. My mom used that Horlicks bottle for 20 years. And one fine day it just dawned upon me as to how many "Plastic jars" were avoided by that one single Horlicks bottle? We as new age kids always criticized our moms and aunts and grandmas about how they were old fashioned and how they kept everything safe for future use? We thought it was cheap? But now I'm no more ashamed of it as I myself have also grown to be a conservationist and I finally realize that it actually STARTS FROM YOUR HOME.

Mother dear collects all milk plastics pouches, rinses it with water and keeps it safe. I realized that they could be donated to the Municipal office and they would reuse or recycle it. Mom usually uses newspapers as shelf coverings in kitchen cabinets. Easy to use, cheap and environmentally safe. She washes vegetables in a seperate bucket and then uses that water to water the plants outside. She collects all #POLYTHENE bags, the most dangerous of them all, and barters it with a vegetable vendor for some chillies or corriander. She diligently uses the compost bin to throw away all the organic waste. She collects each and every piece of plastic carefully to know if it can be recycled and collected by the "kabaadi wala". All in all, practically my mom has been helping the environment in so many ways. And when I compare, it's almost equal or sometimes even more than what my old man does.

I've always been familiar with the three R's of environmentalism. #Reduce, #Reuse, #Recycle. But refusing to use plastics, refusing to give in to social pressure or status demands, refusing to move away from what you believe is what is important. And hence today I add one more R. #REFUSE.

My Brutal Empathy ???

Yes, that's the most circulated picture over internet at the moment. But you'll ask me who's the child in the picture below it?
Well that's my SON. I morphed my son's face on the picture just to actually feel it. It HURT but still I wanted to feel it. I wanted to feel the pain. Though I will never be able to feel the real pain of his parents (i.e., if they are alive).
And the reason I come up with this post is to vent out my frustration and anger towards what the world is going through.
Recently I had a discussion with an Indian friend who was hell bent towards the destruction of Pakistan because he thinks it's wise enough to think likewise when Pakistanis think about the "Barbaadi of India". My bottomline to him was nothing but an old adage that says, "an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind".
Coming back to the picture, it's been framed on my mind since the day the previous picture of a Syrian refugee child swept at a shore surfaced. And then after about a year from that incident, this picture appears. And this time I couldn't take it anymore.
All I thought then and now was I could see my own son's face superimposed on that victim's face. Later the news spread that one of his brothers actually died and he survived. I worry about where this kid must be staying, where his parent's must be, what is he going to do now? Will he grow up to be more angry than the ones who did this to him? Is his anger going to fuel a negative spiral of war and hatred further? Or is there a way to subside his anger and instead make him an angel of peace?
The question remains and it troubles me. And still I fear, should it happen to my world and my family and my loved ones be the victim.
Bottom line: Hate breeds hate. It's got to STOP. Hope this post helps to spread the message, and change their thoughts, even if it's a few like my Indian friend.

Technicality of Profanity

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this story are absolutely personal and doesn’t necessary motivate anyone in the audience to practice what I say in the next 10 or so minutes.

Bottom line: Please don’t try this at home and become a foul mouthed son of a bitch.

But yes I’d surely appreciate if it is able to change the mindset of some people.

Hello everyone. I’m Kashyap Shakya and am here to tell you a story about the “Technicality of Profanity”.

So once upon a time in 1998 I went to pursue engineering at Kamla Nehru Institute of Technology (KNIT) a.k.a. “Kala Naag In Trousers”. The story starts from the very parody name of the institute. I along with other two “baklols” joined the institute about a month late as we were state nominated students from Sikkim.
The first scene going around the college to complete the formalities of admission were some groups of students moving around predominantly in white shirt and grey pants, very short hair fully oiled with head held low (which was actually called the third button meaning you’re supposed to stare at the third button of your shirt at all times).
And in some places you could see people doing the sit ups and in some places you could see some students literally worshiping a tree.
A while later my dad, who’d done his engineering from Patna, explained to me that this was all part of 'Ragging'.
Anyways we got admitted and unfortunately we were put up in the 3^rd year hostel. Now being a fresher and putting up in the 3^rd year hostel is like admitting a 3 year old to a ghost house. Because the 3^rd year is the most notorious and the most jinxed phase of engineering.
So then things went on and for the first time we entered the first year hostel and again there was the mandatory regular ragging going on with seniors all around. You could see people running around with underwears on top of their pants. They called it the Phantom.
But in a few days what actually got my attention was the swearing and the cursing that was going around. And everyone taking it so lightly. You could hear words like Madarchod, bahanchod, saala Bakchod, bhosadike, teri maa ki … and all sorts of obscenities that you could think of.
And the first time anyone said those words to me, I was ENRAGED, PISSED OFF AND REALLY REALLY ANGRY. To the extent that I was almost on the verge of a fist fight with a senior, who was a local there. I was 1000’s of miles away from home and that could have landed me in a serious serious problem. I could have been bashed up to a pulp. But somehow I kept my calm.
During this time there were a few seniors who were observing me. They were from the northern part of UP, now called the Uttarakhand. They came to me and told me to come to their room. The rest of the guys around me went silent. That was actually a ROOM CALL. A room call meant there was something drastic going to happen. During room calls some guys were made to strip butt naked, some were made to eat a condom and some were made to sit in mid air for hours.
Now this was tension. But anyways I went to their room. There were 3 or 4 in the room. It was hot like hell. Like around 49 degrees. The room smelt of sweat mixed with really rotten socks mixed with some alcohol mixed with some dead rat mixed with some puke and what not.
So one of the seniors started off with something like, “tereko bahut ghussa ata hai, nai? Tere ko gaali nahin pachti?" And then he made me swear to the rotating ceiling fan for almost 15 minutes with the worst words I could come up with. I tried my best. And after being disappointed, one of them gave me a demo of how it is done. This time I was not enraged because we were swearing at the fan.
And now came the major turning point. The senior comes and tries to calm me down and gives me a FUNDA. A mantra I’ve carried from then on.
He tells me, “dekh beta, ye ek technical college hai. Yahan pe jo hota hai sab technical hai. Aur jo gaali chalta hai yahan, who bhi technical hai.” Now I was a bit confused. And then he starts explaining to me what is so technical about everything in an engineering college.
Literally there was the technical intro, technical aarti, technical namaz and everything else was technical.
So he explains to me about the technicality of the GAALI. He tells me, "see if someone calls you a madarchod, then he actually means your technical mother, if someone calls you behenchod then he’s actually referring to your technical sister, if he calls you betichod, he’s referring to your technical daughter and so on.
And who were these technical people? Technical mother = female senior from the college, technical sister = your female batchmates, technical beti = your female junior, technical father = your male senior.
I was hit so hard by this philosophy. Yes philosophy. From generations to generations the students had evolved to make up this ecosystem in such a way that balance was maintained perfectly irrespective of caste, creed, age, seniority, geography etc. That was the perfect route to HARMONY.
I was so so relieved. It was like cutting the thread of a gas filled balloon and letting it go. Or like having a bottle of soda and burping loud. It was so satisfying to understand that. The veil that was shadowing my perception was completely fallen and now I could see clearly. My clouded mind was cleared. And then I lived for four years happily ever after swearing and cursing.
I literally became one of the best foul mouthed son of a bitch throughout my four years to the extent that even the locals would feel competition in front of me.
The basic moral still didn’t come right away. I realized quite later that if only the whole world or even just our nation for a while, considered this philosophy of looking at things from a different perspective and different dimension, would it help to bring at least some amount of peace in the society? Like someone comes and says Fuck you and you say Thank you. And I’ve carried that in my mind all along and have learnt to take such things lightly. Nowadays I’m enraged by not the swearing and the cursing but other unjust and anti-social activities happening around me.
And I’d just like to add on to this story. Being brought up in a Newari family, swearing with words like Mampaga is very common. Like we use it in our home without any reservations. Sometimes my mom shows a bit of dissatisfaction but again it’s ok. And I’ve been notoriously famous for teaching such words to all my cousin’s kids. You can imagine 3 year olds going around shouting Mampaga when guests are there. Honestly, it’s very very cute.
And I’ve been trying to teach the same to my two year old. But god’s punishment comes in different ways. He JUST DOESN’T SAY IT. And I’m so disappointed. I would like to capture a video of him saying Mampaga and show it to him when he grows up but NO. He just wouldn’t say it. And finally I’d like to say that my crusade is still on hoping that my prodigal son will spell out that magic word one of these days and I’ll capture it and flaunt it out on facebook.

Also check out the video of my talk at StoryYellers at https://youtu.be/_dr1ViIO1bQ

Image Source: Internet