#Tag for Dummies

It took me a while to understand what a hashtag actually was and how it was being used. I knew that it created a virtual tag but didn't know the implication. And when I did really understand it's use, I was quite impressed. I could see the possibility of gathering information on a particular topic/issue and views of variety of people from around the globe.

But the sad part was I thought I was the only one who understood it. Because all I could see was hashtags littered all around social media like someone had forgotten to gather them all up and put them in their proper place. And since then I've been thinking about writing this piece of "not so necessary" write up. And yes I call it "Hash Tag for DUMMIES" because they really are dumb.

I will talk about how and why to use it, and some tips I discovered myself to make it more effective:

1. Hash tags are meant to give a virtual tag to a word that is associated with some topic/issue that you'd want to be discovered by people. Like if you want the world and people around social media to know about your thought on Donald Trump being the president of USA then you could use a number of hashtags like #Trump #DonaldTrump #PresidentofAmerica #PresidentofUSA etc. But that is again only if you want your view to be discovered and if you're looking for some kind of feedback.

2. Hashtags have to be properly used. Like you can't afford to have spelling mistakes. You can't write #Tump and expect to be discovered by people looking for views on Trump.

3. Hashtags can't have SPACES any where in between. I've seen people doing "# Trump". It's not tagged dear Dummy.

4. Hashtags can't be too long. #DonaldTrumpbecomesthepresidentofunitedstatesofamerica doesn't make any sense because you are the only one who has this hashtag. And anyone clicking on it probably will just see your post and there are very less chances that someone else is using it elsewhere. The probability is less because the probability of someone as DUMB as you existing anywhere else on Earth is very less. Also since there is no space in between, some people can't even read what it means. They'll give up after Donald.

5. Hashtags have to be related to an issue. But DUMB people around the world have been using it for issues like "#Ihadaverybadshitsessiontoday" or #Ihadbreakfasttoday. Well I nor anyone in this world doesn't want to know about how much shit you off loaded in the morning or what you had for breakfast. If someone does find such things interesting about you then understand that that person is STALKING you.

6. One of the most annoying thing for me is when people tag useless words like #the #is #I. I like to say #FuckYou and I'm not giving any explanation for why you shouldn't do it.

7. Now for some tips to make your hashtag better. Since hashtags don't have spaces in between the words, it's always wise to capitalize the first letter of each word. Like #DonaldTrumpJoinsWhiteHouse. Now you can easily identify each word.

8. You can start your own hashtag but again it should be related to a certain issue. Like I use #BeingTheChange for every post I make related to social change. Here you should understand that there has to be a series of posts. Just one post and it won't make any sense.

9. Or you can follow someone elses hashtag. Simply login to twitter and see the trending ones.

10. Not every social media recognizes hashtags. Like I can't use a hashtag in this article. I can use it when I'm sharing it on facebook or twitter.

So I guess after reading these 10 points put very specifically, I have great hope that my friends who're reading it will become slightly less DUMB and come up with some great hashtags.

Seto Daari

One fine day I see myself in the mirror and to my surprise I see a white strand in my beautiful bush of beard. The first thought was to pluck it out. I did try as well but then it was too short to hold.

Then I gave up for a few days. But after that I decided not to  pluck it out. Now it's as long as seen in the picture. People have been pointing at it. And one person even asked me to post something about it. Though I was thinking of doing so, that request actually made me do this small write up.

It's now a reminder to me for quite a few things.
Firstly it's a reminder that I am getting OLD. But on the other hand it's also a reminder for me to remain YOUNG though I am getting old. Remain young at heart at least.

Secondly it's a reminder that it's too late for a lot of things I wanted to do in life. But again it also reminds me that it's better now than never. So it keeps me motivated to try new things now.

Thirdly it's a reminder for me to prepare myself. Prepare myself for the future and old age. Prepare myself to age gracefully and respectfully. And prepare myself to prepare for the responsibility of people who're younger than me. My students, my brothers and sisters and most importantly my SON.

Lastly it makes me wonder about what if there's the second one and the third and then on and on and on? Will I have to dye it or let it be? Shall I shave it or wear them proudly? Well let's see.

I still remember the story "Pehla Safed Baal" which was in our Hindi course in 9th standard. The story typically depicted the woes of a person when he spots the first white hair on his head. And this white strand took me back to it.

But after all this, some people may think that I'm just an over-thinker who's thought a bit too much about an overrated white strand of protein.

Life Choices For Kathmanduites Be Like...

Life choices for Kathmanduites be like:

Dhulo ki Hilo?
Inverter ki Solar?
Gyanendra ki Prachanda?
India ki China?
Traffic jam ki Banda?
Mahango taxi ki jyaan jaane micro?
Eta kaath ko ghar ki bahira gayera kaath ko baakas?
Ghar basera motaune ki bahira jogging garera rugaa khoki le grasta hune?
Dhamala ko hamala ki Suman Sanga?
Pahad ki Madhes?
Thamel ki Jhamel?
Jar ko mahango paani ki Inar ko pahelo pani?
Bhuichaalo ki Nakabandi?
... 

You'll Never Walk Alone - My Liverpool Story

It was during my MBA days that my rubber-faced friend Chhitiz (he actually could make faces like Jim Carrey) introduced me to English Football and the Premier League. Then I didn't even know that Barclays was a Bank. DAMN.
He followed Arsenal and I too started following it a bit here and there. But honestly I didn't have the patience to watch a match late into the night and wake up early in the morning just to argue with a rival fan. Sleep was much much dearer then. But fate it was and I got to work for Carlsberg in Nepal. I was the brand guy and by default the promotional activities were a big chunk of the work. It was stressful sometimes and it was interesting. Carlsberg, though I've always been a loyal Tuborg guy, fascinated me because of it's international image and the things that came along with it. The international promotional plans, the international strategies, and then INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL. Yes we had separated international and national football for Carlsberg and San Miguel respectively. And lucky me got to get a chance to promote the legendary club LIVERPOOL in Nepal.
First hurdle was to understand how the league functioned. The points system, home and away system, transfer window, bidding of players, their salaries, managers, and even the daylight savings. I've personally got a grudge with Daylight savings because once we were supposed to promote an activity in television through a scroll ad and it didn't appear in time because of the time difference due to daylight savings. The scroll appeared only in the 70th minute. Got a good scolding from my boss the next day and I had to research about fucking daylight saving. Though I still don't understand it properly, I found a shortcut. An online time converter. Voila.
So getting back to football or rather Liverpool promotion, it was getting interesting by the day but stressful as well. I had to keep track of matches among which I had to select some top rated matches against some top clubs. We were promoting live match events, placing branding materials around Adidas showrooms and distributing jerseys to lucky draw winners at bars etc.

Then came the big promotion. The "The Football Trip of a Lifetime" promotion where a lucky draw winner could actually get a chance to go to Anfield, watch a live game sitting at the VIP seat with Carlsberg served, and then finally give the Carlsberg Man of the Match to the best player of the day. DAMN.
The promotion ran for a few months and then the day came for the lucky draw. A winner was picked. His name was Mr. Yugesh Bade Shrestha, presently the CEO of Prabhu Insurance. Then he was a senior person at Alliance Insurance. Now the story onwards makes me believe in FATE. Mr. Shrestha was already a Liverpool fan and a hardcore Carlsberg loyal. He happened to be drinking a bottle at a bar and he got his coupon there. And because of his profile, there was no hassle in getting a visa. The matchday came. It was Liverpool vs Tottenham (I remember vividly because of the daylight saving blunder). Liverpool beat the shit out of Tottenham with 3-0. I was wondering if only Liverpool had lost that match, what would happen to my promotion? And then the next day I went to office very satisfied and happy. My boss called me up to his table and showed me a pic. He asked me to identify the person standing with Mr. Yugesh Bade Shrestha. I actually couldn't recognize but said it looked like STEVEN GERRARD. I didn't recognize because I didn't actually believe it. Then he told me that it actually was SG8 because he was the Carlsberg Man of the Match the other day.
I just had that melancholy feeling along with a feeling of happiness somewhere. The animal instinct actually was jealous and sad that it was Mr. Shrestha standing beside SG8 and not me.

But then I got over it in a while and came back to my senses.

Then on, the publicity we did for that was massive with pictures and press releases everywhere. Mr. Shrestha was popular overnight. And in due course, Liverpool had also gained some fan following. It was a HUGE success.
And then what was left behind was me. So what I gained apart from experience, running a campaign successfully and salary was I started following EPL and became a hardcore fan of Liverpool and most importantly Steven Gerrard.
And the day came when I left Carlsberg to pursue my career elsewhere. I was lucky enough to receive not one but two genuine Liverpool jerseys gifted by my two dear colleagues at GB. One by Nirvik, sadly a hardcore Chelsea fan and Punam, who's not actually a football fan. And the recent scarf brought by my friend Rojan all the way from Anfield is a precious addition.
I still cherish those jerseys with Carlsberg written on the front and the scarf.
So that's my Liverpool story and Stevie retiring made me write it. And I've always been proud of the fact that I was one of the first persons in Nepal to start promote Liverpool.
You'll Never Walk Alone...

Picture: Mr. Yugesh Bade Shrestha presenting the Carlsberg Man of the Match to Steven Gerrard. (The picture that actually stunned me)

Nepalese Solar System

NO. It's not about the astrological science that I'm writing about now. It's about the solar system. No, what I'm trying to say is the astological SOLAR SYSTEM is completely different from what SOLAR SYSTEM means here in Kathmandu. Yes that's what I'm trying to say. And that's what my 7 year old cousin brother proved it was.
He studies in St. Xaviers, Jawalakhel and I've always found it to be one of the best institutions in terms of maintaining balance among the students. Balance of everything. So one fine day my cousin comes back home and starts to complete his assignment of drawing a SOLAR SYSTEM. And as you can see the picture above is what he drew. My nini (aunt) posted this on our family Viber network and we all had a good laugh. Some even jokingly commented saying the school fee needs to be refunded. But then I realized that it's not the fees that should be refunded. The teacher knew exactly what s/he was asking and the student exactly knew what he knew. Just that there was a huge gap between the  knowledge of the teacher and the knowledge of my cousin. The teacher grew up never seeing a SOLAR PANEL on top of his house until now, and my cousin grew up seeing the SOLAR PANEL on top of his home before he even knew that a different SOLAR SYSTEM existed beyond the borders of our planet EARTH.
And regarding the joke of having the fee refunded, I said instead of the fee we should ask for a refund from our politicians because it's because of their ignorance this situation has arose. A child is made to believe that that flat panel made up of some black material called silicon is the solar system. And I was actually not joking. I was and am serious about it.
Now what all are these politicians going to make believe the upcoming generation? I worry about my son and all of his age and below. Are they going to believe that door to door water supply or regular electricity or proper free education or good nutrition or indigenous products or sustainability or honesty or morality all are myth and nothing else? Are they going to grow with a very low acceptable standard of all the mentioned subjects? And finally are they going to grow up LESS HUMAN than we actually were?

Gully

As I walk up to Swoyambhu, I come across this scene and I find it beautiful. I'd already made up my mind to take some wonderful pictures that day because the weather was fantastic with a little chill in the air and bright sun with the clearest of visibility.

So on my way up I just saw this and sat down across it to take the best shot. Many people were crossing the same path, and seeing me with the camera, they would turn to their left and see what I was trying to capture. And to their disappointment, there was nothing but an empty gully. I could tell that they were expecting something more interesting to them like a pair of monkeys or a small monkey jumping around or eating something or the breathtaking view of the mountains. But as they realized that there was nothing amusing as such and just an empty space, they would give a smirk and move on. And I smiled back to myself. To some extent proud enough that I can see something what others can't. It kinda felt like having a superpower.

Though not that frequent, I guess that's one of the reasons that pushes me to keep clicking pictures.

Of Penises and Vaginas

I hate "feminists" and I hate "male chauvinists". Yes there are feminists who would protest about why I mentioned the word feminist before the male chauvinist. And that's why I'm writing about it here. To clear your minds. I'd say fogged and clogged minds, with serious misconceptions about the cliche term "GENDER EQUALITY". And I can see you even more angrier when I say that I don't believe in Gender Equality. Rather I believe in GENDER INEQUALITY.

Don't be furious and read on. Little knowledge is dangerous.

I believe in Gender Inequality because males and females and any other gender were created that ways. Different from each other. If males and females were the same then there wouldn't exist the very word GENDER. This concept enlightened upon me due to an instance. We're used to the concept of the toilet seat and the hue and cry about leaving it up or down. It's said that the gentlemen are supposed to leave the toilet seat down for the ladies. But then was when I questioned myself and the norm as to if it really made sense because are the ladies really incapable of putting down the toilet seat before they do their job? So is gender equality all about a mere toilet seat?

The only thing I'm trying to explain here is the concept of gender equality has taken a completely opposite turn through series of events and pseudo activists. I say it's actually the INEQUALITY between the sexes that has to be respected and treated accordingly. Reinforcing my statement that males, females and any other gender were naturally made different with different capabilities and incapabilities. I wouldn't appreciate a male who'd come and boast about trying to be pregnant for 9 months, though medically it is possible these days. But males weren't meant for that. I won't like a female who'll come and boast that they can carry the same amount of weight as any male, though some may be strong enough to do so. It's just the natural differences that separates us as males and females. And the beauty of this gender difference has helped to keep us attracted to each other (at least the majority) and reproduce to keep the human race going.

Instead, raise the issue of objectification of either of the sexes by the greedy corporate world. Raise the issue about the necessity for guys to be tall, dark and handsome or girls to be fair enough to survive in this world full of educated fools.

So the ladies can forget about the toilet seat, or expecting a seat while standing in a bus, or males opening doors for them, or a chair being pulled for her.

And for the males, don't crib about about having to do the dishes or cook at home equally along with the ladies of the house, or doing the diapers and milk bottles in the middle of the night.

If you really want to talk about anything related to GENDER, then talk about the differences. And to make things clear just talk about the biological differences. Rest all will be assured I assure.
Hence it all boils down to Penises and Vaginas, or both in some cases.